days go by.

last year, 2009, i bought a diary book.

since i moved to this little town, i have been feeling that days go by almost too fast. so, at the beginning of last year, i thought that keeping schedule would help me to slow it down, and i wanted to try.

i used to love making notes of what to do, what i did, and writing down all the deadlines.
however, what i found out with this little diary was that i was not even capable of knowing what to do...

i chose pink since that is the color that i never choose, and i thought it would bring me a change.
such a fallacy.

i did not like pink.
i did not like this little thing.
i did not like looking at it.

this year, i am wiser; i bought a green diary book.
i hope i will do better with one of my favorite colors.

bye bye 2009! it was such a messy year!!

smiling faces

my father gave me these.
these are some pieces of designed cloth that his project team ordered to use for some advertisement projects in japan.
smily ebisu-sama (ebisu-sama is one of many japanese gods, a third child of izanagi).

my father founded a small advertisement design company by himself when he was 40, and he has been leading and working for it more than 20 years.

whenever i feel hopeless for my life, he always says that i could jump into a new thing at any time; that's what he did at the age of 40.
he is going into a new thing at 64 now: re-establishing and re-evaluating his life to fight against cancer.

he is actually very difficult person to deal with, although/because he is amazingly aggressive and positive soul, fought for what he valued and achieved many. and i appreciate who he is for me so much.

i never really used these pieces of cloth, so i thought somebody could have it. when mike, my friend, stopped by my apt, he saw these and he wanted these, so now these are in his collection of cloth pieces (i know he collects a lot).

a hole in the bottom.

a hole in the bottom. that sounds bad.

this semi-tote bag, which i found in japan, got 2 holes in the bottom.

my mother and i went out for shopping one day, while i was in japan for 2 weeks in summer of 2003, and found this bag. it was the year my dear sister got engaged.

once a bag have a hole, it cannot hold things that we want it to hold. i am so not independent person, and i always rely on my bags and purses to carry many things; books, pens, a lip balm, pieces of papers with notes, to-do's, to-think's, to-feel's, everything i need to carry with me to exist away from my "home."

i need a new bag, that can carry many things.

the clattering steps

i walked downtown tokyo in this pair of sandal.

i walked down a street in brooklyn in these, i walked into my favorite cafe in dallas in these, and i walked between my apartment and office in marfa in these.

i loved hearing the clattering noises that these make when i walk. the noise told me that i was walking, it told me that i existed, and it told me that it was fun to be there, wherever it was.

it was such a cheerful pair of sandals. i loved this pair, since it made me feel as if making a clatter with my surroundings.

now the thong is breaking, and the wooden sole is falling apart. so, it's going to be tossed. i'll get a new pair soon!

pink cosmos

i don't wear lip sticks much, though i wear lip gloss.
how lip sticks add strong color on my lips always makes me feel as if being shut up.

it's probably not true, but i feel like that i need to be matured or something.
so except for super special occasions, i wear lip gloss, which does not shut me up.

my mom gave me this lip sticks, which turned out to be super strong pink, and i kept it for a while this time.
i just liked the look of this lip stick, the space-age-looking design of this dior lip stick.

well, i still didn't use it even once. so i am sending this little spaceship to my friend, lorna.
hope this will make a little spark on her lips.

spider table

my friend gave this to me, when i moved to the duplex in fort worth, getting a job. i didn't have very much furniture, and she was nice to give me this little side table that she didn't need.

since i got it, i always wanted to change the color, but never did anything to it. i liked the legs, since it is so in wierd balance, and the legs give this table a look of a baby spider with malnutrition (maybe not to you, but to me...), or a look of a dead spider with legs curled up.

i haven't used it for a long long time, since i moved out from the duplex in fort worth, so it's time to let it go. i hope my friend, who is moving to marfa, will take it; it might go to thrift store if she doesn't.

imageries, dismissed

i made a lot of things when i was in school. most of completed "things" of those days had left me, finding home. this set of drawings didn't leave me. it felt right then, since i was very attached to these imageries.

i was talking with one of my friends last june, who was moving to new apartment from the place he lived for almost 10 yrs, and i thought of these drawings that day while we talked. we were specifically talking about the timing of throwing away old art projects and things.

although it's such a cliche, what we were talking that day hit me as a way to move on, emotinally. and that was actually the idea of starting this project of removing "things" from myself. letting things go, and makeing myself lighter.

so these guys will go to trash today.
i will be a bit lighter tomorrow.