misanthrope?

i had never been a phone person.

it's always awkward to call; i imagine too much.
"well, it might not be good time, since it's still work hour; it's still right after work so this person might be tired; becoming close to dinner time, must be cooking; oh, dinner time; too late; bed time."

then, i never call.

so i never needed to have a land line unless it's needed for internet connection.

in 2005, though, i finally bought a phone for the land line to have a regular phone conversation with my family. with my first real full-time job, i thought it's such a "proper thing" to do: to call my family on my bill regularly.

and i called my parents in japan regularly. i never thought it's that great to have a continuing conversation with them at this age. i didn't notice till i have it.

and in 2006 to 2007, somehow i had regular phone conversations with one of my ex-boyfriends with whom i had had the longest relationship of 6 years but didn't have any communication at all for 5 years after the breakup (i later analyzed this event as; we were both in life crisis). when we noticed that these conversations were not helping us at all, we quit. the conversations with him were always wonderful and awful. we were still kinda in love with each other in stupid childish way after 5 years of absence in the real life, and for that very reason, the series of phone calls ended up making us to hate each other.

now, come to think of it, this phone was just for these cross-pacific ocean-phone calls.
i loved to have the land line around that time, since it had a stronger sense of "being connected" with the actual line on the phone. (a childish fallacy.)

it is now at the thrift store in alpine. i hope somebody will get connected with whom he/she really wants to.