a love.

a heart.

it was, i believe, almost 3 years ago, we had a get-together for valentine's day. 8 or 10 friends, all single. just got together for a dinner; we probably didn't want to be alone that night.

somebody thought of having a white elephant gift exchange. everybody was expected to bring something that cost less than $5.

and this is what i got from the exchange; a plastic handmade heart.

i had it on my bathroom wall for 3 years. i left it there when i left my apartment.
i loved this heart, but i wanted this to belong to marfa, not to me. i don't know why.
that was (for me) a good-enough reason for me to have left it.

maybe the cleaning lady threw it away. maybe it's still there.

in the morning.

i don't drink coffee at home anymore, but i used to. i used to love to prepare coffee with this very traditional coffee cone (or how do you call it?).

this is made from ceramic. traveled from japan.

at my parents' house, we used to have a bigger one from the same maker. exactly same design, same color, and same ceramic finish.

i never wanted to have an electric coffee maker. so when i started to live by myself after getting out of grad school (i always had a roommate while i was in school), i asked my mom to ship me one.

it was kinda silly request, since this coffee cone actually cost for $7 or something, and shipping must have been so much more, but i didn't care. i just wanted what i used to see in my parents' kitchen in my own kitchen that i didn't have to share with a roommate.

now, i am moving into an apartment with a roommate, after living all by myself for 7 years. i am kinda excited, actually. and i don't drink coffee at home anymore.

i gave this to hilary, who just looks so right for this coffee cone. i don't know why, but she is the one.

the cook

i have the best cook in my kitchen.

this rice cooker that traveled from japan. i was never good at cooking when i was in japan, and this rice cooker was my very first step.
after i moved to the united states, i learned to cook to feed myself, to feed somebody i loved, and to feed all my people i love.

and, we have the best cook in town.

in this small town, the great food is the great treat. it's like finding a clear beautiful water in the desert.
it's almost like a miracle.

and, we luckily have such an amazing cook in town.
we learn how we love to be able to eat something makes us extremely happy. daily. weekly. monthly. and yearly.

so this best cook in my kitchen needed to meet the best cook in town.

krista will make more people replenished. hopefully, with this rice cooker.

more.

and i had some seeds that are not too japanese. mache lettuce and okayama salad.

these went to a lady who has a green thumb: marella.

grow more greens.

make us happy.

growing kinds

the world is going upside down.
my world.

the earthquake hit japan. everything is on the shaky grounds. i cannot do anything. i'm so far away.

i needed to write something.
i needed my brain to think about something else.
i needed to believe that the world still makes it thru.

last couple of years, i enjoyed having a vegie garden. it was great to witness that plants to sprout, grow, and have harvest. when i was down and sad and lonely, it always helped me to have the garden.

i had a lot of vegie seeds in one of my drawer. i probably will never grow anything in marfa.
so they needs somebody else to plant them and let them prove that they still can do it.

most of them are japanese kind, so i just gave all of them to toshi, another japanese who lives in town. he is also great in garden. i'm sure all the marfans will enjoy these this summer in his restaurant.

marfa, please think of me when you see them on your plate at the cochineal.

softly.

i tossed so many things this past summer.

after my father passed away, i moved back to my mother's house in tokyo for 6 months. i had not lived in my bedroom at the house for 10 years, although i was occasionally visiting. when i started to "live" in the small room again last summer, it felt awful. i felt choked up and suppressed by things.

the clear loss in the house, the father's absence, prompted my urge to change something in my room, which was full of forgotten belongings from the past.

i cannot even remember everything i let go last summer.
old paintings from college, many books that were left unread, vintage toys, etc, etc...

amongst this toss-it commotion, this fabric was the one that i thought carefully of the place it should end up.

when i was in high school, i oftentimes sewed clothing items. when i started to do so, my mother gave this to me. she bought this when my sister and i were still little children, planning to saw something for us. but she never did.

10 years passed, and she gave this to me.

...i loved this fabric.
i loved it too much and couldn't cut into it.
and i didn't saw anything out of it.

another 20 years later, i dug this out from my bedroom in my mother's house.

i sent this from japan to the u.s., to lorna, my friend designer.
she would revive this fabric into the best.

abstract christmas

oops. i cannot believe that i haven't posted this yet!
well, i was lazy for a while.

anyhow.

these came from my friend artist, monica.
they are german cloth lines.

when monica came to marfa, she brought them with her to make art from them, but she didn't. so she hanged them loose on the wall, tucked with pins, and made a abstract line sculptures on wall; they were dramatic and beautiful.

she gave them to me when she was heading back home, and i had them in my studio wall for a while like this image. i didn't drape them as monica did; i rather wanted them to "behave" in my environment. and i loved how they became tinier random wall pieces.

i gave them as a birthday present for my friend whitney, this past summer. thought she could use it at her house. now she moved, and i don't even know if she has a place to put up cloth lines anymore. if not, i wish she would use them to make random chrismas ornament or something. that's how monica was using them, anyways.